I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
