I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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