I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
