yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
