We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
