He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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