So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Can't talk, ducks in the car
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
