I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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