I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
