Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
