Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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