Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
