I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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