So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
