i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
