Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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