yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
