he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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