Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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