I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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