Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
