I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
