if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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