We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
