I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
