That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Naked. naked and bneed help.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
