that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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