Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
