And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
