Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
