Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
