I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
