1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
