Just took my morning after pill in the library
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
