I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
