Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
