Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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