with your own penis?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
