Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
