Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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