Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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