Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
