I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
