Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
