The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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