Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
