In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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