You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
