It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
