I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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