you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
