my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
